It’s physically impossible for a woman to reach an orgasm without a man. No, don’t look at me like that - it’s a fact of biology! This explains why women don’t masturbate the way men do, and why lesbian relationships don’t last. Look it up.
(Male) Second Year Biology Major (via shitrichcollegekidssay)
Me: But I have about fifty books at home I haven't read, there's no reason for me to buy these.
My brain: Okay, but consider this: more books.